How to be your cat’s kind of person.

Let the introduction be their idea

Some cats want company without wanting touch. Cats Protection recommends keeping petting on the cat’s terms; cheeks and chin are often better starting places than the belly. Showing a tummy is not automatically asking for a rub. Stop if the cat leaves or looks uncomfortable. Leave sleeping or hiding cats undisturbed.

Read the whole cat

One movement is not a complete translation. Consider posture, ears, eyes and tail together, and notice the surroundings. Cats Protection emphasizes context when reading body language. If uncertain, make the interaction less intense and give the cat space rather than trying to get a reaction.

Build a small preference notebook

For one week, write down where your cat rests, when they approach you, and which suitable toys they choose. Keep entries descriptive: “sat beside me after dinner” tells you more than “loves all cuddles.” This is a household note, not a personality test. A quieter chair or shorter play session may matter more than another purchase.

Make “no thanks” easy

Plan interactions so your cat can leave. Avoid carrying them back for another cuddle or blocking a retreat for a photo. Explain the same approach to visitors. Calm proximity counts as company. Sudden changes in behavior or tolerance of touch deserve veterinary advice.

Your first-week experiment

Choose a predictable time to sit quietly nearby, offer suitable supervised play, and note the response. Keep normal essentials available. At the end of the week, keep the interactions your cat chose and drop the ones they avoided. You are learning about one cat, not fitting them to an internet stereotype.

Sources & further reading

• Cats Protection: petting a cat
• Cats Protection: body language